you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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