Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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