The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
