I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
