We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
