a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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