Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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