That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
