Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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