you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
