In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
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