mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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