the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
