My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
