Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
