Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
