I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
