Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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