I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize