We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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