How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
