He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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