Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
