Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
