Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
