Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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