Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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