is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
