You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
