You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
