I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
