Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize