Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
