wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
