my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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