Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
