He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Houston, we have a squirter
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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