please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
