How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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