Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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