Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
this boner is exhausting
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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