I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
