If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize