i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
