I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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