Your tits are I can't wait for
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
