I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
