Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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