He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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