sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
