So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize