dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
