I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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