he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
