I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
