I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Come on in and take your pants off
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