the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
