I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
