I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
