I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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