Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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