I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
